I want to start by saying that I’m sorry you’re going through this, and that you’re not alone. Breakups – the ones that are out of our control – feel terrible. The second-guessing, the loneliness, the wondering … it’s all part of it process. Yes, some breakups are pretty effortless, for whatever reason, but many of them involve some kind of grief. It is real a loss, so don’t feel bad about the misery. It’s not a “stupid high school relationship. No such thing.

The relationship did mean a lot, which is why it’s best to give yourself some real time to get over it. You shouldn’t be bombarded with his social media posts. There’s no reason to re-download anything. At the very least, don’t follow him. It’s not rude to block or unfollow; it’s called self-care. It’s good for you. Also, it’s too early for friendship. If he asks, tell him you need time to re-set.

Let’s say you’re right about the breakup and that it ended because you wanted to talk to him a lot. All that means is that he’s not a match for you. You deserve someone who’s psyched to communicate. And really, the reasons he gave do seem real.

I know it doesn’t help to hear “this is normal, you’ll get through it over time.” After a breakup in my 30s someone told me that, and I wanted to scream … despite being in my 30s. But … they turned out to be right. After developing new routines, calling on friends, making more friends, admitting when other people were cute, etc., I was able to put the breakup in my past. I started to get excited about who I might meet in the future.

COVID doesn’t help the getting-over-it process, but please try to stay busy. Give your attention to people who make you laugh. Watch good shows (or whatever you like). Breathe every day and think about the cool things you might do over the next few years.

– Meredith

Readers? Tips for coping with a first breakup when COVID-19 limits so much? Thoughts on social media and friendship after a breakup? Anyone want to say how they got over their first breakup?