Shortly after turning 30 in 2019, I started dating the sweetest woman of all time. Though we had different political views on certain issues and came from different religious backgrounds, we made it work. Of all the people I brought home to meet my parents, she was their favorite.

She wanted to move fast, though. I was hesitant, having been hurt from a multi-year relationship that ended with my ex having an existential crisis and taking a new job across the country, with no warning, after we had made long-term plans. This new wonderful woman and I broke up at the end of 2020 due to concerns about different views, my own foolish hesitancy to move on from aforementioned ex, and the dynamics that the pandemic brought, which caused us to be isolated and to do a lot alone. She tends to be more impulsive, while I am more reserved and calculating.

The breakup lasted a few months and then we gave it another try. Things were better, but then she wanted to try living on her own in an apartment with no roommates closer to her parents. It was a longer drive from me, so we parted again. She said doing this helped her grow personally. We kept in touch nearly every day, and this summer we both admitted that we still love each other. She told me I was her best boyfriend ever, she wanted me to move to her area, her parents love me, and she thought it would eventually work out with us. She sent me intimate texts.

When the stars were just seeming to align and I was ready to tell her that I wanted to make things official again and move to her, she suddenly stopped talking to me for two weeks. I assumed she needed some space. Eventually, I texted her hello, and she told me that she had “a few life updates”: she was buying a house and had just started seeing someone new, which was becoming “serious.” She said she was happy. I responded only saying that I was happy for her.

I was devastated. Her text to me seemed so cold and out-of-character based on our interactions this summer. I mailed her a letter saying that I was happy for her and also reminding her that I love her and thought we were ready to make things permanently official. I told her if I were lucky enough to have another chance with her, I would make things right. I told her in the letter that she did not have to reply, but I had secretly hoped that she would. I have not heard back from her. She is my best friend and love of my life, and no contact is killing me. It feels like she is mixing the excitement of buying a new house with rushing into a relationship with someone who lives close by. This was a very fast change – we had, only a few weeks prior, sent very intimate texts.

Can I expect her to change her mind after reading my letter?

– Broken Up