It’s Been A Month And We Haven’t Met

Q.

Hi Meredith,

I met a guy on Match at the end of April. He was in New York at the time so we couldn’t get together right away but we started talking a lot. We even chatted on the phone after a couple of nights. We had an instant connection and have great chemistry on the phone and texting.

Then his work trip seemed to get longer and longer, and now it’s been a month and we still haven’t met. I’m frustrated and not interested in a pen pal. He tells me he is so sorry and is not doing this on purpose and can’t wait to meet. Is it worth the wait or should I stop talking to him altogether? I can’t tell if I’m being strung along or if he’s real. I need help!

– Waiting

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A.

You can wait a little longer, but don’t stop pursing other people. He’s just one person on your online dating radar; make sure you’re not giving him all of your energy.

It’s very possible, by the way, that he’s been 100 percent honest about the holdup, and that he’s super busy with work. But sooner than later, he must suggest a specific day to meet – even if it’s a few weeks out. We all have calendars. It’s not that difficult. Ask him to name a date.

Also remember that it’s best to save the constant texting and long phone calls until you’ve met someone in person. Daily texts can give you a false sense of intimacy, and it’s very possible that when you meet this guy, the chemistry won’t be there. Until he shows up, keep the back-and-forth to a minimum.

– Meredith

Readers? How long should she wait?

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