Getting Back Out There

Monday | July 6, 2015

Love Letters Dating

Getting Back Out There

Dear Love Letters,

I have been single for about four years now and have yet to find a decent guy out there. I grew up right outside of Boston and I love the Red Sox. I met the last guy I dated on a dating site, and after a month we became wicked close. We became official in the spring of 2010 and were together until April of 2011. He broke it off and I was devastated and hurt by his decision, mainly because I really opened up to him, and I never really open up and talk about my family and my past with anyone.

I was 27 when we met and I am 33 now. The first few months after the breakup were horrible, and then a year later he met someone new and they have been together ever since. I was depressed about it for a year and a half but then I got over it.

I tried dating but it was hard because most guys just wanted to hang out and not get into anything serious. I am not looking to jump into a relationship – I would like to take my time getting to know the guy – but I would like to find someone soon. I have tried to get back out there, but for some reason I either meet stalkers or creeps, or guys who have just gotten out of something long-term. Any advice on how I can dust myself off and get back out there again?

-Single Sox Fan

If I had some special formula for meeting the perfect mate online, I would post it in this column every day. Or I would sell it. But the truth is, a lot of this is about luck and timing. You have to keep dating until something sticks. You can’t hurry love, you just have to wait, etc.

The only practical advice I can give you is to have a witty friend edit your online dating profile so you can be confident that you’re representing yourself well. Maybe swap out the pictures, add some details, and see if you can draw a different pool of suitors.

Also remember that there are ways to meet people in the real world. If you spend every night scrolling through profile after profile, it’ll make you feel more isolated than you really are.

As you continue to date, try not to compare your ex’s trajectory to your own. Yes, he met someone quickly and has been with her ever since, but that doesn’t mean your path won’t lead you to happiness.

Readers? Any secret to getting this right? What about the ex?

– Meredith

Dating Internet

Featured Comment

u0022Outwardly, it appears that you’ve moved on-you’re saying and doing all the right things but…clearly your emotions are stuck in the past. I think this is affecting how you feel about yourself and how you project yourself to others.nnGive yourself one of the best gifts you can and find a therapist. Even with short term therapy, the insight you can gain is one of the best investments you can make in yourself and your future.u0022 – ECAB

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