He ‘left His Phone In His Work Van’

It’s a perfect time to send your own relationship/dating question to [email protected] (or use this form).


I started talking to a guy in August. Our attraction was off the charts and we stayed in contact with each other 24-7 … and then he went on his birthday trip. While on his trip, we still stayed in contact. When he got returned, things started to change and our communication slowed down a lot.

I started to feel like he wasn’t interested anymore so I opened my dating app back up. By this time he’d totally disappeared – no calls no texts.

One day I texted him and he told me that he had left his phone in his work van and just got it back after being gone for a week. I told him I understand; things happen. We picked up where we left off. Things were great for a few weeks and then he let me know he was going out of town for the holidays. While he was gone, he barely texted or called. I didn’t get upset because it was the holidays and he was with family. The day he was supposed to return, he just stopped responding.I didn’t reach out and then on New Year’s I decided to text him. We started talking again, met up to spend a few days together, and then he took me home. I haven’t heard from him since. Now what?

– Really, now what?


Open the app again (if you’re ready). This person might show up yet again, but he tends to resurface when you reach out. I think you’re done doing that. It’s become frustrating and hurtful, which is why you wrote all of this down.

Your letter reads like a list of reasons why you’ve had enough, proof that for every happy moment there’s been a disappearance. I understand that phones get lost and and fail us sometimes, but even when he has time and technology, he’s not giving you what you want.

That’s why I ask: What do you want? If it’s a signifiant other who calls you a lot, prioritizes you, talks about the relationship, and includes you in plans, this man isn’t it. After five months, there are a lot of questions and no consistency. Of course, if you want something more casual – someone you can call when you need immediate attention – he might be up for that. He might be great at that.

Think about what you’re waiting for. At this point, I don’t think it’s him.

– Meredith

Readers? What’s the letter writer’s next move?

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