I tend to give these relationships the benefit of the doubt.

I never assume longtime friends have romantic feelings for each other, or that one person is hiding some unrequited crush. I think it’s very possible for two friends to care about each other – and love each other and be there for each other – without having an emotional or physical affair.

I know that’s not always the case, and that yes, sometimes people secretly want to kiss, but heterosexual men and women can be friends. It’s true! Maybe you believe that too, but it doesn’t sound like you have much faith in this case. Perhaps you’re right.

But I’m not confident that after four months, you have a real sense of this woman’s place in your boyfriend’s life. Maybe if you get to know a bit more about her – and their history – you’ll feel better about who she is and why she gives gifts. It’s possible she loves giving gifts. Maybe she also celebrates these occasions wth her partner, and in a more romantic way.

You didn’t disclose much about anyone’s relationship history, but when people are single for a long time, they celebrate big occasions with friends, family, maybe co-workers. It’s not just a partner thing.

It sounds like there’s a bigger issue here – that even without the gifts, you don’t like the friendship. There’s not much you can do about that other than to wait and see, and then decide whether her presence in his life makes this whole thing a dealbreaker. It’s not in anyone’s best interest for you to ask him to end traditions with important people. If his world makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to be in it.

– Meredith

Readers? Is it weird to give gifts this way? I wonder how others feel about sharing this kind of ritual with friends.