Finding the right partner can take a very long time. Your question seems to be about how much to give to people before you know they want to reciprocate.

It’s best to save the care and support for someone who earns it. It’s nice that you want to show up for someone and the people in their lives, but if that’s not something they’re offering to you, you might as well use that energy elsewhere.

Also, there is no obligation to stick around to see if a not-so-rewarding experience is going to get better. Sure, it can take months to get to know someone, but if they’re not meeting you at every next step, you can let go without wondering what might have been. You shouldn’t be doing the work for two.

If you let go of these “situationships” earlier, you might be less exhausted when you move on to the next thing. These connections should feel casual until there’s reason to believe otherwise.

Give “your all” to yourself and the people who are constants in your life. Don’t let a romantic partner become the center of anything until you know they’ll put you there too.

– Meredith

Readers? Is this letter writer giving too much, too soon? How do you know when to wait to see if something can be more than it is?