A.
Is there a middle option here? Are you capable of dating, meeting others, and sending an occasional text to your Italian lover?
Yes, I said lover. It felt right.
You could stop communication to make it easier to reboot your brain. But it would be nice to be able to keep in touch, know he’s out there, and maybe even revisit the situation later in life.
The best way to do that might be to say, “Hey, let’s meet up in a year.” Plan something tentative that’s super far out on the calendar. You’ll know it’s a big maybe, and there will be less pressure to make a date and arrangements.
It’ll feel like you’re working toward the anniversary of an event instead of continuing a relationship that can’t go anywhere because of distance (and other reasons too, probably).
Remember, you’re feeling excitement, infatuation, wonder – but none of those things are love. Chemistry is great, but it’s just one thing. You had a super sexy night and you want another one. Understood! Have fantasies, but do not add narratives about him being a perfect partner, because that would be fiction – created by you. So far, he’s been great at one thing. That’s all you know.
Try to keep the messaging within reason, watch what you send (you don’t know this guy that well), and think fun thoughts. Even if you plan to see him in a year, you can have dates with new people, message others, and find chemistry elsewhere.
Sexiness and perfect nights can be found anywhere.
Even in, like, Medford. Or Quincy. It’s possible, I swear.
Be civil. Be kind.
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