For almost three years now, I’ve been seeing a woman who lives in my neighborhood. We met at my yard sale. Her mother is in her 90s and needs constant care. It’s to the point now that if my significant other is not within eyesight, her mom starts calling people, asking them where she is.
 
I asked this woman out because I thought we were similar. We’re both in our 70s and work. I wondered at the time if she was too attached to her mom. I live with my sister; my wife died four years ago. I’ve never lived alone. You can see some similarities here.
 
We started going on hikes. We both enjoyed them, and I thought we had a relationship. I was very cautious, because when we start talking about ideas, she is very practical and sees the price of necessities as the big political factor. I’m a liberal (mostly) Democrat and can talk all day about social issues.
 
We’ve been intimate two or three times. I can tell she’s very cautious about sex and so am I. However, the last time was a year ago. Since then I’ve developed a condition that may require surgery. Hiking is out. I worry that my appeal/attraction has decreased for this reason.
 
It is extremely frustrating because she works when I’m free from work (she runs a business), and otherwise is her mother’s caregiver. She now can’t get away at all unless her mother comes. We last spent substantial time together last fall; otherwise she does nice things like drops food off for my sister and I because she goes a lot of senior lunches. 
 
She has been supportive to me over the year. She satisfies many things I would want from a long-term relationship, and is very considerate and would be a committed partner. However, she doesn’t satisfy in some other ways; I mentioned a lack of social-political stimulation, among others. I feel that being monogamous is important, but I feel very frustrated.

Also, I have a few possibilities for initiating something with other women I’ve met, despite my limitations.
 
Do you have any thoughts about where this might be headed?

– Frustrated