She Said She Needed Time. But How Much?

Time to send your own letter. What’s been on your mind about your relationship life? What’s stressing you out? Send a question about it to [email protected] or fill out this form.


I matched with a woman in July of this year on one of the popular dating sites. We had four dates in total and all appeared to be going well, but about three weeks ago her texts started to taper off. I kindly reached out telling her I really enjoyed the time we spent together and was hoping to see her again, and asked if she felt the same.

She replied that she too enjoyed our time but that she’s dealing with an ill parent and would like to connect again after things “settle down” with that situation. I told her to reach out when she felt comfortable.

It’s been over a week. How long should I wait before I cut my losses and move on? Am I being naive thinking this could actually work? I really liked this woman.

– Waiting


She’s not asking you to wait, so assume she’s out of the picture for now.

She might like you and want to see you – in theory. But if she’s telling you she needs to prioritize this family member, take that as a final answer. She’s not interested in leaning on you for support. Pushing her into anything might cause her more stress. She doesn’t have the bandwidth to keep the texts going, let alone meet up in person.

That kind of makes sense to me. New relationships take work, and what she’s dealing with probably requires a ton of energy. Also, it was only four dates. Good ones, but you didn’t have a routine just yet. I know you really liked her, but timing is important.

I only wish she had been more clear about this being a more permanent decision, if that’s the case. Your response was great, by the way. You told her it’s up to her, and that you’d be happy to hear from her whenever.

Continue to look on those apps. Take a moment to appreciate when someone really wants to show up for you. I know it’s disappointing, but this is how it goes sometimes.

– Meredith

Readers? Any reason to send another message at some point? Will this person come back?

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