What’s your love and relationship problem?
Ask Meredith at Love Letters. Yes, it’s anonymous.
How do I meet men my age who are actually single without using dating apps?
I’ve been on and off of them for three years now and have had very little success. I’m so tired of the usual routine on them.
All the men I meet in real life – the ones I’m attracted to – end up being married. I’m looking for advice on how to meet men in their 40s and 50s – men who are interested in having a relationship, not just a hookup.
I googled “singles events for people in their 40s and 50s” and most of what came up was … hiking. At least around Boston.
Not everyone likes hiking (I don’t!), and many people can’t engage in that kind of activity, but if you are open to it, I do think walk-and-talks are a nice way to get to know others. Replace “hike” with “tour” and you might find an easier journey where people travel a path, as opposed to an incline.
Consider finding a group that’s for people in their 30s and 40s. Dating people in their 50s would be nice too, but it amazes me how many people say, “I’m a young 49.” I always want to respond, “Maybe 49 is young.” Still, those people might gravitate to a 30 and 40-something event, seeking others they see as peers. Don’t exclude yourself from your own demographic, even if its skews younger.
You can also organize your own singles opportunity, maybe with a friend. Have an event where people are asked to bring a single guest. Charge a small cover to pay for drinks, food, and a contribution to an organization you care about. People like to help with a cause, and sometimes they need a reason to go out and mingle. Plan something that feels meaningful, and they might rally to join.
Maybe they’ve been looking for help with this dating problem too.
Readers? How did you meet someone in real life? Would you go to a singles event like the one I described?
“They’re not in museums or bookstores or the grocery stores. That’s why I used the apps.”wizen
Sign up for the Love Letters newsletter for announcements, hand-picked letters, and other great updates from the desk of Meredith Goldstein
Stay up to date with everything Boston. Receive the latest news and breaking updates, straight from our newsroom to your inbox.