I’m in a long-distance relationship with a still-married man. The scenario is that he is unhappy, and he and his wife checked out a long time ago. They’re still living under the same roof and haven’t taken steps to end the marriage. He and I are both 50.

His job requires him to travel a lot; I am in London and he is in Paris (not too far for him to make the effort to see me). We’ve had few weekends here and there and we talk daily. Recently he had a family event (without his wife) and I was not invited, which rang a bell for me big time. He did put a ring on my finger as a sign of commitment, but I think he only did it to gain time. He makes very good money and the ring was kind of cheap. He either didn’t mean it to be important, or he intended to protect his money.

When we discussed his moving out of his house, said he couldn’t because of his job. Then he said his wife will begin the divorce process when she retires in June. I don’t know whether to believe him, and the reasons for waiting don’t always make sense.

– Waiting