Dear Meredith,

Here’s something a little different: A question about love after death. My parents got married in the 50s, and just short of 30 years later, my father suffered the mother of all midlife crises, divorced my mother, and married someone else. Once he freed himself from that unfortunate relationship, he confided in me, “If I thought I had a chance, I’d court your mother all over again.” He tried for a number of years, but my mother had been deeply hurt and would have none of it. In time, however, she acquiesced to a friendship. They went to dinner and to the movies, and sat together at family functions. Over time, it happened: They fell back in love, to everyone’s delight. We’d catch them kissing when they thought nobody was around.

They considered getting remarried, but by this point, they were in their 80s. Their financial, housing, and health situations were complicated. So we had a private, (non-legal) ceremony in which they renewed their vows with the family present. For the next ten years, they called each other “husband” and “wife,” even though they lived separately. Sadly, my mother passed away recently. And here is my problem: Soon, my mother will be buried in the family plot, according to her wishes. (Her family.) Before the divorce, the understanding was that both of my parents would be buried there together. But in the years since, that spot was promised to a different relative. It’s understandable and cannot be undone. But my dad doesn’t know this. Do you have any creative ideas of how I can honor them together as a loving, committed couple, even though they will need to be laid to rest in different places? Thanks so much.

– Longing for Mom & Dad to Be Together