We’ve had a lot of “my significant other is still married” letters this month. Just noting a trend.

In your case, it’s about asking the question, even if it’s scary, even if it seems like the wrong time.

It doesn’t have to be a smooth delivery. You can say, “Hey, when we got together, you said you were getting a divorce. What ever happened with that?” You can also tell him why his marital status is important to you. Maybe it’s because you want to take your own steps with him. Perhaps you’re worried about what this means financially. If there’s a reason for your concern, please make it known.

After three years, you should be able to have difficult conversations. You asked if you’re missing something, and that’s what popped out to me – that you don’t feel comfortable talking about something that might be awkward or unpleasant. If you want this relationship to work, you need to break the silence.

There are so many reasons this divorce could be taking a long time, by the way, one of which is this pandemic. Perhaps he didn’t see the need to do the paperwork before meeting you, and then COVID-19 made it difficult to get anything done. Or maybe there’s a health insurance issue (a recent letter writer had that problem).

Accept that there’s no right time and ask. If he won’t answer, that’s a bigger problem. You can always write to us again.

– Meredith

Readers? Any help with timing and language here?