Was She Married?

Sorry we missed each other yesterday. Let’s chat at 1 p.m. today instead. We’ll switch it up and do it on a Thursday. Always good for a relationship. And now for another kind of ring watch …


Dear Meredith,

I have been seeing a girl for a while now. She’s really great and things are moving in an amazing direction. There’s one thing that is bothering me – I’m pretty sure she used to be married but has not told me. When we first started dating and friended each other on Facebook, I did a look through old pictures, as anyone would, and she had a wedding ring on in some of them from a few years ago. I figured she would open up eventually, so I never mentioned it. As we are getting pretty serious and are in a relationship, I am starting to worry because she has not told me that she was married in the past. What should I do? Should I ask? Should I wait until she tells me on her own? I’m starting to worry she will never open up to me.

-Facebook creep


Just ask. She’s not hiding those pics like they’re a big secret.

Explain that you were looking through old Facebook posts, and then ask her about the ring. Make it clear that you’re not upset.

If the pictures had been on her phone or stored in some private place, this might be more difficult to address. But Facebook is fair game. You’re allowed to be curious.

Just be aware of how you might feel if the answer is complicated. Think about how much you expect or want to know about her past.

Readers? Should the letter writer ask or wait to see if she shares?

– Meredith

Love Letters

What’s your love and relationship problem?

Ask Meredith at Love Letters. Yes, it’s anonymous.

About Love Letters