What’s your love and relationship problem?
Ask Meredith at Love Letters. Yes, it’s anonymous.
Sorry we missed each other yesterday. Let’s chat at 1 p.m. today instead. We’ll switch it up and do it on a Thursday. Always good for a relationship. And now for another kind of ring watch …
I have been seeing a girl for a while now. She’s really great and things are moving in an amazing direction. There’s one thing that is bothering me – I’m pretty sure she used to be married but has not told me. When we first started dating and friended each other on Facebook, I did a look through old pictures, as anyone would, and she had a wedding ring on in some of them from a few years ago. I figured she would open up eventually, so I never mentioned it. As we are getting pretty serious and are in a relationship, I am starting to worry because she has not told me that she was married in the past. What should I do? Should I ask? Should I wait until she tells me on her own? I’m starting to worry she will never open up to me.
Just ask. She’s not hiding those pics like they’re a big secret.
Explain that you were looking through old Facebook posts, and then ask her about the ring. Make it clear that you’re not upset.
If the pictures had been on her phone or stored in some private place, this might be more difficult to address. But Facebook is fair game. You’re allowed to be curious.
Just be aware of how you might feel if the answer is complicated. Think about how much you expect or want to know about her past.
Readers? Should the letter writer ask or wait to see if she shares?
u0022Hell, I was engaged once, I don’t run around with it written on my forehead. It’s funny though, for me the awkward, so what have you been up to before me happens early on, we joke about it and move on to what’s more important, us.nnYou are off to a rough start if you think she is being untruthful or hiding something from you. Ask her and take what she says at face value.u0022 – OldSoul26
Sign up for the Love Letters newsletter for announcements, hand-picked letters, and other great updates from the desk of Meredith Goldstein
Stay up to date with everything Boston. Receive the latest news and breaking updates, straight from our newsroom to your inbox.