What’s your love and relationship problem?
Ask Meredith at Love Letters. Yes, it’s anonymous.
I found out my boyfriend of two years browses Craigslist for other men. I borrowed his iPad and found the personal ads he looked at and then found emails setting up meetings with other men. Some of these emails even included pornographic images of him in my clothes in my home.
I confronted him and he said that it is a joke, he never met any men. He said that the pictures were him just “being silly” and something for him and his coworkers to do when bored. We have serious trust issues in our relationship and he has a history of cheating and lying to me. He promised to stop doing this and wipe his iPad, but days later I found Craigslist active on his phone and his passwords changed on his iPad.
He is currently moving into my home as he recently sold the home he owned with an ex-fiancée. I have a young child and I’m at a total loss about what to do. I’m worried about my health, what I may be exposing my family to, and his continued pattern of lies and hiding.
Should I stop giving him the benefit of the doubt and run for it? Or is it worth trying to work this out for a man I love?
– Lost and Confused
“We have serious trust issues in our relationship and he has a history of cheating and lying to me.”
That sentence is more problematic than anything else in this letter. The pattern of deceit existed before you found the Craigslist ads. I understand that you love him, but you do not trust him enough to share a home with him.
It does sound like it’s time to end the relationship, but if that’s too overwhelming right this second, just stop the move. Make it clear that he’ll have to find a new place to live because you’re just not comfortable sharing your space. Once he’s out of the housing plan, you can think about what you do want for your home and family.
For the record, reaching out to strangers and arranging meetups isn’t “silly.” If you’re in a committed relationship, it’s just cheating.
Readers? Should she run? Any possibility this wasn’t cheating?
Have advice for today’s letter writer? Be helpful. Be clever. Get your comment featured here.Meredith
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