What’s your love and relationship problem?
Ask Meredith at Love Letters. Yes, it’s anonymous.
Send your own relationship/dating/breakup/holiday questions to [email protected] or use this form. And former letter writers, give us an update. Where are you now? Did we help? Email your update to [email protected] with “update” in the subject line. Tell me which letter was yours and how it all worked out.
Hi Meredith and Readers,
I was widowed earlier this year after a 30-year second marriage. I am a senior citizen who lives in Massachusetts.
I met both husbands at singles dances. My first husband didn’t dance, but went to meet women; my second husband also enjoyed dancing with me at mixed singles and couples dances during part of our marriage.
Even when I was young, I always enjoyed the dances, even if I didn’t meet anyone special; the music, the exercise, the food, making new friends, etc. There used to be dancing at some of the hotels, also groups at dances such as New England Singles, Parents without Partners, etc. Many of these seem to have disappeared. I also met guys I dated at informal Sunday brunches at my local Y, with Sunday newspapers provided on the round tables, when I lived in NYC. I am familiar with online dating, meetups, etc., and guys tend to like me. But I miss the weekly dances.
I realize that few people want to go to dances with the risk of getting COVID. But even before the pandemic, many of the organized dances seemed to have disappeared. There is an organization near my home with a nice dance floor, but it has not attracted many people. I hope they stay in business by advertising and adapting to also attract somewhat younger people post-COVID.
My main question is: Have you found dancing in the suburbs (for singles or couples), and how much interest would there be among your readers to meet people at singles dances at least when there’s less COVID risk?
– Singles Dance Lover
Not long ago – but before the temperature dropped – I was driving by Jamaica Pond, and I saw outdoor dancers doing tango (I think), in pairs, under the moon. I was thrilled because it was nice to see people doing a beautiful, normal, celebratory thing. They were all masked, so it looked pretty safe.
That’s my first thought: people will dance again, but some of them might want to do it outside.
I’ve done a lot of googling and I see some in-person and Zoom dance activities. Most of them are classes, as opposed to dance nights. That might be where the dancers have gathered – near an instructor. Maybe it’s worth trying a class, even if it’s online (especially if you can see other students on your screen).
I do think you should use the apps and dating sites to tell people you love to dance. You might find like-minded singles who would dance with you in a house. You might find someone who wants to learn from you.
Also, sometimes all a community needs is an organizer. What if you called that local organization with the great floor and offered to help design an intergenerational night of dance? What if you contacted a local senior center to do the same? Your interest can draw others. You could design your own night.
By the way, I’m so sorry for your loss. As you consider all of this and process the year, please continue to dance alone, in your place, on Zooms, maybe even traveling to a place like the Dance Complex in Cambridge to make a day of it. You say you always enjoyed the dances, even if you didn’t meet anyone special. That means it’s for you. Keep it moving.
Readers? Ideas for finding/creating opportunities to dance? How to you meet someone if you’re most confident on the dance floor – and there are no dance floors?
Why are you only looking in the suburbs? If you limit your search to a couple of miles, you’ll limit your options. Meeting other people means expanding your options – which means looking outside your local and usual places.harrisbstone
Sign up for the Love Letters newsletter for announcements, hand-picked letters, and other great updates from the desk of Meredith Goldstein
Stay up to date with everything Boston. Receive the latest news and breaking updates, straight from our newsroom to your inbox.