Texting might be the way someone else experiences a slow burn. A good morning text might be the way they say, “Hey, it’s morning and I’m thinking about you. Feeling the burn. Slowly.”

Also, when you meet someone online, that’s where you’ve started. With a swipe. With a message. It makes sense that someone’s next step is … well, another message.

It sounds like your concern is that these “swift” relationships are all texts, no real bonding. You can avoid that pattern by letting someone know you’re not a big texter. Say you like a phone call. Try a Zoom date. It’s a way to build a bond between in-person dates. It can offer more reveals.

Be clear about how you like to communicate, and try to be empathetic about how difficult it is to show interest. “U up?” at 2 a.m. is very different than “good morning,” in my opinion. Someone’s typed attempt to get to know you might be awkward, but consider their intentions.

I used to get frustrated when people’s first online dating interaction was “how are you?” because it’s such a big question (especially these days), and it’s so generic. Then I realized it’s difficult to know what to say. Set an example by asking questions you’d like to be asked, planning other ways of checking in, and telling someone what you like.

You’re not alone in wanting more than a very long text chain.

– Meredith

Readers? How do you get more than texts? Should the LW have more empathy for people on the other side of this?