What’s your love and relationship problem?
Ask Meredith at Love Letters. Yes, it’s anonymous.
I recently got back from a friend’s wedding and I find myself in an odd spot. While at this wedding, I sat next to a woman and struck up a conversation, and I was blown away by how well we hit it off. The sad part is, to her left was her boyfriend.
I don’t know how strong their relationship is, but the boyfriend did not seem to have much to say, and this woman seemed way more interested in getting to know me. Do I ask the people I know from the wedding about the possibility that this relationship is close to an end? Am I wrong to even be thinking about taking this path?
Sometimes at weddings, we’re in the mood to engage with strangers. Other times, we don’t feel like being on, so we focus on the meat, fish, or vegetable dish we ordered, and stare at the wall until it’s time to dance, listen to another toast, or go to bed.
The boyfriend’s lack of interest might not have had anything to do with this woman or their relationship. Perhaps he was thinking, “We’re never going to see this person again, and I’m tired.” Later, he might have said to her, “Hey, thanks for being social on my behalf,” or, “Sorry I was quiet; I had indigestion.”
It’s also possible they despise each other and have already broken up. But maybe they’re breaking up because she’s already moved on to someone new.
We don’t know.
That’s why you should consider the smallest version of your idea. Don’t pursue anything. Simply tell one or two people in your friend group – anyone who knows this woman – that you thought she was fantastic. Say to a person you trust, “If she’s ever single, let me know.” Then leave it alone.
There’s no path to take, only an idea to float, and then you move on. If she had a great time, becomes single, and wants to find you, she’ll try too.
Readers? How far should the LW take this? Is it OK to ask a few questions?
A girl talking to you at an event does not mean she wants to uproot her life, break up a relationship, and move on with you. Just remember the event and the conversation, but don’t give it another thought.CuppaJoeSeattle
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