Years ago, my now-fiancé and I took a chance and moved away to start a life together. We became pregnant, and I wanted the father of my child to be with me and family. Five years after the move, which was for a job, I was pregnant again. (This was a happy surprise. For a few medical reasons, the chances of this happening again were low.)

But then I had a miscarriage that required a D&C. My fiancé didn’t support me much, and when I wanted to talk about it, he would ask why, and tell me to move on. I keep going over things in my head, what happened with the miscarriage, and I get sad.

Just before year anniversary of miscarriage, my fiancé and I began arguing. He said he was the one who made the decisions in our house. My son wouldn’t listen to me for some time; his dad had made it clear he was “top dog” – the only voice that mattered.

I became very upset and felt like our life wasn’t what I wanted us to be. Eventually, my fiancé started to do nice things again, but … I find myself unable to want to love him again. I feel like he left me to hang in the dark, and didn’t want to talk about the loss. I’m still struggling with what happened.

The only time I feel slightly better is when I’m away from him. I don’t want to end our relationship, but I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I can’t see happy times. I find myself imagining a new relationship. One I’m not hurt in. The hard part is that I’m trying to stay strong for my son, but he sees I’m sad too. He gives me hugs and says loves me out of nowhere. I feel horrible for not being more attentive to his needs as a child, and like I’m not a good enough mom. I’m so lost and just want to feel better.

It seems like the only way to do this is leave, but I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do. Will my fiancé let me have a year to think things over? Is that fair of me, because he still has to work and pay bills for the house? Am I being totally unfair?

– Unfair?