A.What if it wasn’t all or nothing?
Can you finish that PhD in peace while having a casual date once or twice a month? Because that’s the way to go, I think. You can see someone five times, have fun with them, enjoy the experience, and move on. You can take a few weeks off when you have a busy semester.
If you see this as life experience, as opposed to a quest to find a life partner, you might be more satisfied with the results.
The fact is, you’ve had several experiences that taught you what works and what doesn’t. I’m not sure people accomplish much more than that over four years, especially if they have other goals. Also, yes, the Seattle part of this is relevant. You know you’re leaving, so it probably feels like any date is a prologue to what’s next.
Sometimes we let ourselves believe that the path to career, love, family, etc. will be linear, and that everything will move at the same speed, at the same time. That’s not how it works, though. You might make great strides in education and then, years from now, meet the best person ever. Maybe at that point you’ll want too change jobs. You might as well try some dating along the way, enjoying the lessons and company without making too much of it.
Instead of jumping to frustration and defeat, take a beat, shrug, and consider that it’s all part of your story.
It’s OK to prioritize yourself and continue dating this way – on your schedule and without a big goal.
– Meredith
Readers? How does one frame dating as a success when it doesn’t seem to lead anywhere? Would it be better not to date at all?
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