The Onion’s Boston: 11 Stories From America’s Finest News Source About America’s Finest City

–The Boston Globe

The Onion has a history of asking Boston to shape up. The satirical news site’s latest salvo against the city was a light-hearted swipe at one of the city’s most august institutions: Shitty Museum Doesn’t Even Have a Mona Lisa. It’s more of a jab at the patron, but it’s fun to see the Museum of Fine Arts ribbed a little.

Over the years, scores of Onion stories carried a Boston dateline. And dozens tackle Boston directly. Whether the Onion was laughing with us or laughing at us, they definitely remembered to bring the funny.


Here are 11 of the better Boston-based Onion headlines, as judged by one guy.

2014: Boston Mayor Throws Out First Punch At St. Patrick’s Day Parade

It didn’t take long for Mayor Marty Walsh to make his Onion debut:

2013: Pretty Cute Watching Boston Residents Play Daily Game Of ‘Big City’

Noteveryone around here was happy with the joke in this Onion post. But not everyone has a good sense of humor.

2013: Everyone In Whitey Bulger Trial Found Dead In Woods Outside Dorchester Admit it, at one point or another, you sort of thought that would actually happen. 2012: Romney Proudly Explains How He’s Turned Campaign Around

‘I’m Lying More,’ He Says

Romney was never as rich a target for The Onion as Joe Biden, but they got in some good shots here and there.

2009: Redcoat Holdouts Still Fighting American Revolution

Anyone who has sat through a Patriots Day re-enactment can appreciate this one. The included infographic really sells the gag.

2007: Manny Ramirez Asks Red Sox If He Can Work From Home

Sounds about right.

2004: Kerry Names 1969 Version Of Himself As Running Mate

This was posted weeks before Kerry actually saluted to start his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention.


2004: Massachusetts Supreme Court Orders All Citizens To Gay Marry

That’s what the Supreme Judicial Court decided, right?

2011: Kevin Youkilis Puts Sign-Up Sheet For Threesome In Red Sox Dugout

You might not know it, but Kevin Youkilis was a running gag with The Onion for years. And almost all of the stories deal with some weird sexual undertones. This is one of the few headlines we could print.

2006: Native Bostonians Unable To Defend Land From Invading College Students

This one feels real.

2013: Massachusetts Evacuated To Prevent Any Contact With Tom Brady’s Knee

We skipped most of the Onion’s Boston Marathon bombing posts because, while funny, there are a lot of folks around here who aren’t ready to crack wise about that day just yet. But this one was just oblique enough to work.

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