If you’re a fertile, single woman who fears Ebola, knows your way around a gun, and you aren’t turned off by an “average’’ body, today is your lucky day.
A Craigslist personal ad, titled “Escape the Apocalypse with me’’ and published late Tuesday night, promises a life after the impending Ebocalypse.
The ad was posted by a 36-year-old survivalist suitor who has spent a decade planning for the end of days, and has what appears to be a solid plan for doing so.
“Ebola is about to break loose in America. It’s already in Dallas and Atlanta. Boston will be its next stop I am sure and soon airplanes, taxis, and the T will not be safe.’’
Interested ladies should not hesitate to respond. He plans to wait “no longer than 2 weeks’’ to drive his A-Team-worthy van from Boston to a fortified bunker in the Vermont mountains.
“I only fear that by going there now, alone, I will emerge in 10-15 years to find humanity has succumbed to this modern day plague and I will have no way to keep the species going.’’
The ad is as specific as you’d expect from a man hoarding gold and looking to repopulate in the dystopian future after all humanity has succumbed to the Ebola virus.
“If you already have children and wish to bring them then I think that is a good idea, and if not that is fine too. I request that you are fertile and able to bear at least three children with me should we find ourselves in a situation where a decade or more passes before it is safe to emerge. If you have small arms experience or hunting experience that is a big plus.’’
So pack your bags, and – if you’re already a mom – start thinking about how you might tell your kids they’ll be spending a lot of time with a man in a bunker who you met on the Internet. He might be a stranger, but what’s the alternative? Death?
He awaits your message.
Update: Boston.com reached out to the original poster, and learned that the ad was meant in jest.
Some of the responses, however, are real.
“I am sure you are inundated with replies to your ad. I know you are right and the country as we know it is about to end,’’ wrote Angela, who claimed to be a 34-year-old mother of three girls living in Milford.
“I am fertile, healthy and fit. Please let me hear back from you that this is legit as well as a little more about yourself.’’
Angela won’t be hearing back from the Craigslist prankster, who said he will not pursue the ruse. He would not reveal his name, but he did confirm that he is 36-years-old and has been working out to turn his physique from “average’’ to something a bit better. He is married, middle class, and has children. His fake personal ad is the result of many bored evenings watching the media obsess over Ebola, “giving it more playtime than heart disease, which is ridiculous.’’ His prank came after weeks spent seeing what he called bogus posts blaming politicians for the alleged Ebola outbreak on sites like Foxnews.com. The Craigslist post, he said, was his way of going out with a bang.
“I’m not actually looking to meet anyone.’’