Defense lawyers for Michelle Carter released pages of Facebook messages exchanged between their client and her former boyfriend, Conrad Roy III, before his first suicide attempt in 2012.
Carter, who repeatedly urged Roy to follow through with his plans in texts in 2014, appears to try to dissuade him from killing himself in the newly released exchanges, dating from July 2012 to October 2012.
Roy was hospitalized in October 2012 after overdosing on prescription drugs. In a nearly two-hour October 10 conversation following Roy’s hospitalization, Carter questioned her then-boyfriend if he was serious about wanting to kill himself and explicitly stated that she didn’t want him to do so.
“You [have] so much to live for please [don’t],” she wrote in one message, after Roy informed her he was still planning to kill himself — either by drowning, hanging, or overdosing again.
“Promise [it’s] not my fault,” Carter later wrote.
The 20-year-old defendant’s lawyers have argued that she initially pushed back against Roy’s suicidal thoughts and tried to get her then-18-year-old Mattapoisett boyfriend help, before eventually giving in and endorsing his plan. Roy was found dead from carbon monoxide poisoning in his truck in a Fairhaven parking lot in 2014.
Carter was charged with involuntary manslaughter in 2015 after investigators discovered her texts to Roy supporting and forcefully encouraging him to commit suicide. She has pleaded not guilty. Defense lawyers have said the at-times aggressive tone of Carter’s texts were affected by prescription drugs she was taking.
Read the full October 10 exchange below:
Roy: do you care what’s been happening to me
Carter: whats been happening?
Roy: uhhh stayed in a hospital last week
Roy: because l’m weak and sensitive and not sure why you even liked me in the first place.
Carter: was it like therepy? and becasue you made me feel special Conrad
Roy: yah i tried to kill myself
Carter: you did? why didn’t you tell me?
Roy: just remember I’m not the person you thought I was
Carter: how did you try to kill yourself? do you still want to?
Roy: no i’m not going to
Carter: you’re going to what?
Roy: just letting you know
Roy: the voices in my head tell me to
Carter: tell you to kill yourself?
Roy: I’m a freak
Carter: do you really want to kill yourself?
Roy: I’m gonna later
Carter: you’re lieing. youre not gonna
Roy: believe what you want
Carter: youre not going to Conrad?
Carter: i bet you a million dollars you wont
Roy: I am
Carter: how are you gonna?
Roy: I have 2 plans
Roy: actually 3
Carter: okay what?
Roy: why do you wanna know?
Carter: just tell me
Roy: drown myself. or od on sleeping pills
Carter: whats the third olano
Carter: you’re not going to Conrad stop
Roy: I just wanted you to know. so if you text me and I’m not responding that’s why
Carter: are you being serious right now
Roy: I’m going to try my best and not fail. like last time
Carter: you wont bring yourself to do it
Roy: trust me you don’t know what it’s like to be me. an d done through what I’ve gone through
Roy: It might not seem all that bad it’s probably because I was too chicken to tell you half of my story
Carter: tell me it then Conrad.
Roy: I don’t want to. I’m sorry Michelle
Carter: well are you seriously going to kill yourself tonight
Roy: 10-11-12 that’s what it tells me
Carter: todays the 10….
Roy: I know
Carter: so you have 1 more day
Roy: nope tonight
Carter: Conrad stop. you’re not gonna do it
Carter: I know you wont
Carter: I don’t want you to
Roy: No I actually am
Carter: well when?
Carter: you nhave so much to live for please dont
Carter: is this my fault?
Carter: Conrad please your scaering me?
Carter: Please answer me Conrad i want to help you
Roy: It’s not your fault
Carter: are you really doing it tonight?
Roy: I’m going to try
Carter: no youre not
Carter: how do i know that?
Carter: I have to go to practice now though
Carter: so i’ll talk to you when i get backj at 930 right?
Roy: I might not be alive
Carter: Conrad yes you will be
Carter: I love you
Carter: just say it back
Roy: I love you too
Carter: thank you
Carter: you wont do it
Roy: you really want me to prove it?
Carter: i just know you wont
Roy: I’ve already tried, and I know what I gotta do
Roy: but it’s not at all your fault
Roy: I just have a messed up yea
Carter: promise its not my fault
Carter: because I will always believe it is
Carter: I could of helped you more
Roy: don’t I can’t leave that on your shoulders
Roy: I’m mean
Roy: *im not mean
Carter: Im just so sorry it has to be this way
Roy: It’s the path I chose to go
Roy: and I head about your grandmother 🙁 I’m sorry to hear that
Roy: have a good time at practice goodbye
Carter: i just want you to know that you were one of the most amazing guys ive ever met and you made me really happy that time in Florida and the day you came over, you made me so hapy and im so proud of what you accoplished with rowing and i admire how strong you were to go back to school and i will really miss you babe
Carter: and thanks its okay
Carter: are you sure you want to do this?