We get it. It’s the night before the election. There’s a governorship on the line. You need to find a way to connect with voters on a human level. So naturally, you head down to Dorchester’s Eire Pub, talk to the regulars, and start pouring a few beers. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, when you’re a politician and not an actual bartender, everything can go wrong. When you’re Martha Coakley, everything can go wrong in just six seconds.
That’s precisely the amount of time it took for WCVB reporter John Atwater to capture a Vine of Coakley pouring the worst beer ever.
Why is it the worst beer ever? Well, for starters, it’s a Bud Light. (There are, of course, those who actually like Bud Light – on ice.) Coakley isn’t doing anyone any favors by pouring them a Bud Light. That’s the beer people drink when the alternative is drinking nothing. Worse still, she’s pouring a Bud Light when Sam Adams and Long Trail are also on tap. Even if the customer ordered a Bud Light, shouldn’t a politician running for governor of Massachusetts offer a better-tasting, locally-brewed alternative?
(Or, perhaps she didn’t want to be the typical, overbearing liberal nanny-stater and decided to let someone decide for themselves, for once. Perhaps.)
Coakley reaches across the bar to hand the patron – state senator Linda Dorcena Forry, whose taste for beer is now in question – a glass of beer. Actually, it’s half a glass of beer. The other half is foam. If half your pint glass is filled with foam, your bartender is doing something wrong. Hand the glass back.
Of course, this was for a photo op, so Forry accepted the “Coak-tail.’’
But Coakley wasn’t quite done yet. She dunked her pinky into the beer, wiggled it around a bit, and then shook it off behind the bar.
Thanks, Martha. Now Forry is stuck with a foamy Bud Light that tastes like your hand. She’d probably rather drink a cup of dirty water.