Diving headfirst into a pile of snow is the new “triple dog dare you to lick that freezing cold pole.’’ It’s not a good idea.
But so many stir-crazy people decided to take part in #BostonBlizzardChallenge2015 that Mayor Walsh had to issue a dad-like statement to the city that sounded like “I’m-not-mad-but-I’m-definitely-disappointed-in-you-and-your-actions.’’
“This isn’t Loon Mountain,’’ he said. “This is the city of Boston.’’
But Marty! We’re all feeling kind of loony. And, to be honest, the snow diving is just one way Boston is showing its cooped up craziness. Here are some other ways people in Boston are losing it because of the snow:
1. We’re pretending banks of snow are pools.
Yes, we went over this. But look at these people:
2. The T is a battlefield.
The T platform has become the front lines of a vicious hand-to-hand combat zone. Instead of viewing your fellow travelers as allies in this cold and lonely world, the other people on the platform have become beings that seem to exist only to ruin your life by standing in the very square of space you planned on occupying.
Despite announcements to “stand behind the yellow line, because another train is on the way,’’ people have resorted to acting like they’re the main characters in a dystopian novel who will die if they don’t get on the train immediately.
We shove, push, and elbow our way on, only to find ourselves somewhere between an armpit and a hard place for the entirety of our commutes.
3. People are going berserk over their parking spaces.
Hell hath no fury like a person who saved a parking space and had it taken away.
And they’re putting random pieces of junk in spaces to mark their territory.
4. Some people are giving away beer rather than lose their parking spaces.
5. Others have embraced the snow and have moved outside.
Apparently people are so sick of being stuck inside that living outdoors is a more appealing alternative.
6. The MB(ecket)TA is the most honest thing you’ve read on the Internet in a long time.
When you started reading it, you laughed. Then you cried, because it’s too real. We are all slowly losing hope—and our minds.
7. We’re scratching SOS messages in the snow.
Somebody. Anybody. Help us.
8. We think this is normal.
Inanimate objects are coming alive.
Don’t all parked cars look like this?
Remind us, why should we leave the house again?
9. We’re shipping our snow to family and friends.
People are paying to send water bottles full of snow (that soon melts) across the country via ShipSnowYo.
10. Some people actually want it to snow more.