Clueless in Colorado

Maybe this aura of clueless bravado is the trickle-down from their fierce rivalry with the Oakland Raiders, never historically known for their refinement and wisdom, but have you paid attention to these Broncos fans this week?

If you’ve listened to 10 minutes of local sports radio this week, you’ve probably heard them bursting through the air waves, like some drunken cheerleader of Howard Dean’s personal cabinet. Every so often they’ll emerge with a rambling dissection as sharp as a stick of margarine as to why their Broncos will beat the Patriots in their divisional playoff matchup Saturday night.

It’s like some all-day pep rally, with a direct phone connection from the Wynkoop Brewery, devoid of any real analysis or calculation. Think less “X’s and O’s” and more “San Dimas High School football rules!!!”

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Of course we realize that this small percentage of yahoos is not indicative of the entire fan base, but all the same it has to be an embarrassment to the majority of well-grounded Denver supporters, the ones who actually want to break things down judiciously in lieu of unintelligible dribble better suited for the gastronomical competitive circuit.

These are the same fans, after all, who showed cornerback Dale Carter how they felt about their prized free agent pickup by tossing a metal object at his head during a home game in 1999. A month later, Raiders players were pelted with snowballs, some spiked with batteries, and Oakland’s Charles Woodson retaliated by allegedly throwing a snowball and hitting a female fan in the face. Lincoln Kennedy also went after a fan who hit him in the face with a snowball. Ah, that mountain air. Bring the kids.

Since 2000, the Broncos have done nothing but lose repeatedly in the playoffs, 0-for-3 since John Elway hung ’em up in 1999. But this weekend, for the first time since 1998, they will enjoy a home playoff game at the former Mile High, a place where they were 8-0 this season. That fact alone is perhaps fueling much of the gung-ho, holier-than-thou attitude that has pervaded the Colorado Clueless.

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Much of the fire has been fueled by Denver AM 950 “The Fan” morning disc jockey Marc Moser, who has been encouraging his listeners all week on his “Moser in the Morning” show to infiltrate local Boston and Providence radio stations with their Coors-soaked audio pom-poms.

Just for reference, this is Moser in the Morning. ‘Nuff said.

Exhausted from hearing about a seemingly generally accepted trip to Detroit by Patriots fans, Moser has encouraged his listeners to go into the belly of the beast, if you will, to hit the Patriots fans with their incomprehensible gibberish, prompting them to dial up Boston radio with bellows of why Tom Brady sucks. (“Who’s Tom Brady?” one staunch supporter of multiple Super Bowl winner Jake Plummer wants to know.)

Moser continually wants to remind everyone which team won back in October when these two squads met (it was the Broncos, 28-20). Although on the other side of his mouth, he doesn’t want to talk about the past, how the Patriots have won 10 playoff games in a row and three of the last four Super Bowls. For Moser, it’s only what you do now that matters.

Well, the Pats have won a playoff game this month, more than the Broncos have done in the last seven years.

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After dishing out the number to Boston sports radio station WEEI 850 AM to Denver listeners this morning, urging them pester morning show hosts “Dennis and Callahan,” Moser’s co-host Drew Goodman, also the Colorado Rockies play-by-play guy, wondered if that meant “Gary Dennis.”

“I think so,” Moser said. “Actually, yes it is.”

Goodman then went on about how “Gary Dennis” has been a personality in Boston since his college days in the ’80s.

Which we’re sure “John Dennis” would find enlightening.

“You Bronco fans did your job, you got to them. You got ’em all riled up. You did a great job,” Moser continually proclaimed on the air earlier this morning, fielding calls from displaced Pats fans trying to bring something of substance to the proceedings. Heck, even Dan Dierdorf tried to bring something of substance if that gives you any idea how out of control the yahoo factor is burning.

“Rub your magic Tom Brady helmet!”, Moser shouted.

“If you’re going to come on our airwaves in Denver, you’ve got to bring something better than that weak-ass stuff,” another caller retorted.

“What has your bearded hippie done?”, one Patriots fan asked Moser of Jake Plummer (the subject of tomorrow’s look-alike contest) in defense of what the radio host calls the “golden boy” Tom Brady.

Then, Moser felt the need to interrupt an interview to announce to all Boston fans listening on the Internet that he was sorry that Ray Bourque had to win a Stanley Cup with the Avalanche. Wocka, wocka!!

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Mensa Radio this is not, folks.

Not that we tout the most intelligent sports discussion on the airwaves on our end, but what we get on a daily basis compared to what desperate-sounding Broncos fans are dishing out this week can be considered Alistair Cooke to their Jim the Wrestling Goon. And with no bulletin board material such as Mike Vanderjagt saying the Patriots are “ripe for the picking,” to speak of between two teams who, dare we say it, respect each other immensely, it’s been left up to, God bless us all, the likes of talk radio to create these storylines of disregard.

As Moser’s show drew to a close today, it was “Randy from Boston” that got the final word: “I think you should be thanking WEEI for driving up your ratings, because it seems that people from Boston are the only ones you have calling you today,” he said.

It was by the far the only insightful statement uttered all morning.