Welcome back, New York

We’ve missed you, New York.

Sure, we had our fling with Vancouver. Philadelphia tried to make a pass at us. And Los Angeles? They’re just an old flame we get together with every now and then.

But they’re not you, New York. We miss hating you.

Look, we understand that the Red Sox haven’t given you much to gripe about, and your Knicks are still a ways away. But the Bruins and Rangers are destined for the Eastern Conference Finals, and now we have the ultimate, a rematch between the Patriots and Giants in the Super Bowl.


You have the bravado. You have the cloud over our heads. You have the ha-has.

You have the unmitigated nonsense.

Oh, how we missed this, New York. That happens when you become irrelevant. OK, you’ve got a World Series trophy more recently then we have, you took away our perfect season, and yes…no, that’s it. We love the fact that we both denied those Canucks up north, but really, the last time you did it Mudhoney was still hip. Not to say we’re proud of doing it in an age of Bieber, but we’ll take it.

Boston and New York haven’t faced off in anything this significant since Glendale, and your latest shenanigans are killing us. Tom Brady tells a crowd of 25,000 Patriot fans that he hopes to have a bigger party next week and you take it as some sort of snide guarantee. What’s the man supposed to do? Apologize for Asante Samuel?

To quote laureate Steve Serby of the distinguished New York Post, (Which to be fair, ran the killer headline today, “Giants want to win championship for New York fans.” I mean, bravo where bravo is due): “If Brady scoffing at Plaxico Burress’ pre-Super Bowl XLII prediction of Giants 23, Patriots 17 was able to get Big Blue’s dander up, there’s every reason to believe that the Talk Is Cheap Play the Game boys with the NY on their helmets just might consider this a Super Diss.”


See what he did there? He used the word “Super” with something else. Like SuperBad.

This is what drives people so SuperNuts (ah?) about Super Bowl week. Mix New York into the proceedings, and it’s just one big ol’ ball of ridiculous insanity. Oh, how we missed this. See, we just don’t understand how to do it with Vancouver, and everyone else…well, we just kind of like.

That’s why we’re so eager to welcome you back in our lives, New York. Yes, your chowder is inferior and you still have A-Rod around for…egads, we’re actually sorry for bringing that up.

The truth is, we need you in our lives. You’re the brother who thinks he’s the father, when he’s really just nothing more than a bloated has-been. New England thinks ahead. New York revels in its past.

It’s OK. Nothing to be ashamed about. It’s just that when talk gets tough it’s nice to have something to back it up with. Yeah, yeah, Glendale, Eli, Tyree. We got that. How’s Indy looking?

Sunday will be yet another legendary showdown in a litany of sporting history between Boston and New York, the most anticipated rematch between the two fan bases since the 2004 ALCS. How’d that work?

Sorry, we’re falling into your bucket there. The past is irrelevant. Let’s do Sunday, shall we?

Then, let’s do June.

You too, Vancouver.

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